so, what exactly was it that i had been hoping for all these years of my life? some cosmic, global epiphany? an 'oh yeah, i am a slave, being controlled and i recreate it every day and each day i live it i am further alienated, dependent, and complicit' realization by everyone... most... some...anyone?
i feel the only way i felt misanthropic was when i mistook, or more accurately.. believed, the illusion that humanity was linked, inextricably and inevitably, with civilization... as truth. it's funny, i can never see anyone write nor hear anyone say "it's human nature" any longer without a laugh and realizing that they believe the lie...drank civilization's ever present kool aid.
ultimately it's a tremendous 'letting go', a catharsis so deep that you will never be the same. releasing the fear and opening up something ancient and new, the wild right now.
i never said anything about the secret of positive thinking, happy thoughts, foo foo new age bullshit. you know, the fantastical life without conseqeunces we all teach so well to our children. the ungrounded pseudo shamans, liberal and corporate alike that sell us the neverending spectacle.
right now, we are fucked. it's all changing and things are not going to look the same. this house of cards will fall.
who's to say there won't be a celebration?